Monday, October 14, 2013

Click Here To Watch Dark Shadows (2012) On Your Kindle

In the year 1752 Joshua and Naomi Collins with young son Barnabas set sail from Liverpool England to start a new life in America. But even an ocean was not enough to escape the mysterious curse that has plagued their family. Two decades pass and Barnabas (Johnny Depp) has the world at his feet-or at least the town of Collinsport Maine. The master of Collinwood Manor Barnabas is rich powerful and an inveterate playboy...until he makes the grave mistake of breaking the heart of Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green). A witch in every sense of the word Angelique dooms him to a fate worse than death turning him into a vampire and then burying him alive. Two centuries later Barnabas is inadvertently freed from his tomb and emerges into the very changed world of 1972. He returns to Collinwood Manor to find that his once-grand estate has fallen into ruin. The dysfunctional remnants of the Collins family have fared little better each harboring their own dark secrets. Matriarch Elizabeth ...

Review

How sad that BurtonDepp decided to "sexup" this film with breasts bad actresses and lousy script offerings. Not one character was worthy of any type of accolade. Some things should be left in the past...and this is one of them.

Sure you had the basic premise of pitiful Barnabus being cursed by Angelique but there was no back story of any worth. Josette was thrown in as just a "specialeffect" death...with no relationship with Barnabus whatsoever.

Fastforward to the future and it's sicksilly. Nothing was funny and they showed every single joke in the trailers. Felt sorry for the "whoosh" from the original cast that got thrown in...and Chris Lee was useless.

The lines of this film were thrown away...and closeups of Depp's various makeup jobs were sloppy.

There is no excuse for doing a film of this cheapness and calling it after something that was so enjoyed by past generations. Two series are worth more than this mess. Please....save your money and rent the originals...from Net Flix.

See what true storytelling should be not this lackadaisical junky stuff. This will end up being on the bottom of every Walmart bin....for $1 for many years.

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